first you mentioned that you might fall for someone else because of you feel that i am no longer focus on doing my things and that i always lose my temper...
then, you are not happy with all my minor flaws... and feel that i am no longer appealing
now, you are considering to not come out with me anymore because we kept argueing...
are you tired? are you hinting me to end this? you dont love me anymore? you like someone else?
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
Wednesday, November 2, 2011
SLEEP RIGHT!
1. Have a good reason to get up.
I’ve found this to be the single most important element in being an early riser. Days in which I did not crystallise the reasons for getting up were more likely to result in sleep ins. Now, I make it clear the night before what it is I want to wake up early for. Initially, I found writing things down to be helpful, but this isn’t always necessary, as long as it is clear what the reasons are.
2. Be productive in the mornings.
It wasn’t enough to just be an early riser. If I had committed to waking up early for a reason, I’ve found it was crucial that I followed through. Not following through is like slow working poison. Over time, this has a cumulative effect and makes it harder and harder to rise early. This was a huge drain on motivation for me, especially when I was losing sleep and yet not getting the things I wanted to done. So stick to the plan and be productive.
3. Get enough sleep.
Your body is trying to tell you something if you constantly feel overly tired during the day. I’ve found it wasn’t really worthwhile trying to get up early if I didn’t get enough good sleep the night before. In the short term, I might get more discretionary time because I was sleeping less, which is good for coping with the spikes in workload. However, in the long term, things generally evened out – either because I was tired and couldn’t work as fast or I was sick as a result of a weakened immune system. My advice is to ensure you get enough sleep.
4. Go to bed earlier
One simple thing which helped me get enough sleep was to … well … go to bed earlier. Instead of constantly staying up past midnight and feeling tired the next morning, I now start preparing for bed around 11pm. I’ve found, around this time of night, I’m generally winding down anyway and not engaged in productive work. So shifting the hours around slightly has meant that overall my free time gets used more effectively – which is the primary reason for being an early riser! The amount of sleep needed is different from person to person and day to day. So, I listen to my body when it tells me that it is tired and it is time for bed.
5. Sleep more effectively.
The other thing I noticed about sleep is sleeping longer doesn’t necessarily translate to sleeping better. Somedays I can have 8 hours of sleep, yet feel like I haven’t slept at all. Other days I can be fully alert, productive and cheerful after only a few short hours.
If you find that you are still tired after a good stretch of 6-8 hours, chances are you’re not sleeping well. Most people just don’t need much more sleep than that. Sleeping well can be attained in various ways. I find having a good mattress and pillow with some quiet reading time before bed to be helpful.
6. No more another 10 mins.
I think everyone including me has two conflicting aspects to their personality. There’s the one which is good and generally seeks to self improve and be productive. Then there’s the other one – the little voice in the head urging us to sleep in for another 10 mins. I’ve learned the hard way that this little voice rarely has anything good to say. My advice is don’t ever have a discussion with him or indulge in anything he says! Sleeping in for another 10 mins is guaranteed to lead to another 10 mins and then another. The next time you hear that little voice, just say “No” out loud and …
7. Jump out of bed.
One trick I’ve found to be very effective in being an early riser and to stop myself from rationalising is to simply jump out of bed instantly. Once I am outside the comforts of the warm and cozy bed, I’m more likely to actually wake up and stay up. Someone once suggested to me by leaving the bedroom immediately, you also leave no doubt about your intentions to actually wake up and start doing things. Jumping out of bed and leaving the room actually works. They have prevented me from sleeping in on many a cold winter morning.
8. Use an alarm clock, just not the snooze.
Every day without fail, I wake up before the alarm goes off. I’m tempted to say setting it might not even be necessary! However, I take comfort in the knowledge that it’s there and waiting to go off, so I don’t have to worry about sleeping in. The trick with the alarm clock is to make it loud, annoying and not easily accessible. Try placing it away from arms reach, so that you can’t turn it off or get to the snooze button unless you get up out of bed. For me, this works wonders, because when it goes off, my wife and daughter are both still asleep and I instinctively try to get to it as quickly as possible.
9. Establish a stable routine.
What I recently learned from being a new dad is babies thrive on routine. My daughter now knows that bath time is followed by reading time and then bed time. Initially, she put up a fight resisting the bed. Now, she expects it!
In many ways, things are no different for us adults. I view the body as an instrument which can be trained. I’ve found establishing a consistent routine to be a key factor in becoming an early riser. This means waking up at same time everyday, not just the days I have to. This includes weekends, which typically aren’t as busy as the weekdays. Now, my body doesn’t even remember what it was like to sleep in and being a late riser.
10. Have something to look forward to.
Waking up early can be hard work, especially when you are used to sleeping in. Having a purpose is a good start, but this isn’t always enough. I mean, come one, are you really going to get up early to work on some TPS report for work? What I do in addition to having a purpose is to have a reward or other attractive incentive to get up for. It can be anything. I personally look forward to having time to check my emails in the morning, eat breakfast and drink a cup of tea.
11. Be aware of the consequences.
As I’ve written about previously, when faced with doing something we don’t want to do, we’re generally motivated not just by Pleasure, but also Pain. I’ve found that it was very effective to be aware of the consequences of sleeping in. For me, losing that extra 2 hours in the morning can have a significant flow on effect to my day and the rest of the week. Everytime I sleep in, I have to stay at work later and sacrifice quality time with my daughter in the evenings. This is something I clearly want to avoid, so being aware of this has been really effective in keeping me motivated when the alarm goes off.
12. Remove the option completely.
One trick I’ve found to work well also is removing the option of sleeping in completely. If we don’t have the option to sleep in, we won’t. The best way of doing this is schedule meetings and deadlines early in the mornings. This leaves one with no option at all but to get up because by the time the morning comes round, it is too late to cancel or reschedule a commitment. I’ve found this to be very effective because my actions now impact not just me but others as well.
13. Have a similarly motivated buddy.
Over the year, I have mentioned to various friends my desire to be a consistent early riser. Being encouraged by my example and results, they too have adopted the drive to be early risers. Not only is it gratifying to be helping others improve their productivity and quality of life, but having friends similarly committed helps keep me motivated and on track. Whenever we meet up, we always ask each other how we are doing with respect to being early risers. If anyone has fallen off the wagon, as a group we try to get them motivated again. Your spouse may be a good buddy even if only to kick you out of bed.
14. Keep track of your times.
Have you ever told yourself that you can sleep in just this once because you’ve already been good the whole week? I have. Unfortunately, my perception on how good I’ve been is subjective and often inaccurate. Sometimes I consider sleeping in because I feel that I’ve been good when in fact I’ve already slept in twice this week or six times this month. I’ve found keeping track of the days I have been good and not good to be immensely useful. I review this list periodically and whenever I find I’m falling behind, I use this list to renew my motivation and commitment.
15. Review all the things you got done.
I’ve written about the 10 R’s to success before. If you haven’t read that post, take a moment to do so. One of the more important R’s is Review which describes the importance of looking back on how successful you have been with your goals and what you’ve managed to accomplish. If things aren’t working out or the results weren’t as expected, then adjust your approach. Looking back at all the things you’ve managed to get done in the early mornings is a great motivator to keep you going.
Conclusions
Being an early riser is tough work, but I’ve managed to do it consistently. To be honest, I didn’t realise how hard it would be when I first started. I might not even have tried if I knew better in the beginning. However, I’m glad I did because the rewards are amazing. I get much more done now and my quality of life has improved.
If you want to be early risers yourselves, try out the tips I’ve highlighted. Some of them may not work for you, but I can bet that if you applied at least a few of these, you will see immediate results. Feel free to experiment and refine the process until you find a healthy balance you can sustain.
I’ve found this to be the single most important element in being an early riser. Days in which I did not crystallise the reasons for getting up were more likely to result in sleep ins. Now, I make it clear the night before what it is I want to wake up early for. Initially, I found writing things down to be helpful, but this isn’t always necessary, as long as it is clear what the reasons are.
2. Be productive in the mornings.
It wasn’t enough to just be an early riser. If I had committed to waking up early for a reason, I’ve found it was crucial that I followed through. Not following through is like slow working poison. Over time, this has a cumulative effect and makes it harder and harder to rise early. This was a huge drain on motivation for me, especially when I was losing sleep and yet not getting the things I wanted to done. So stick to the plan and be productive.
3. Get enough sleep.
Your body is trying to tell you something if you constantly feel overly tired during the day. I’ve found it wasn’t really worthwhile trying to get up early if I didn’t get enough good sleep the night before. In the short term, I might get more discretionary time because I was sleeping less, which is good for coping with the spikes in workload. However, in the long term, things generally evened out – either because I was tired and couldn’t work as fast or I was sick as a result of a weakened immune system. My advice is to ensure you get enough sleep.
4. Go to bed earlier
One simple thing which helped me get enough sleep was to … well … go to bed earlier. Instead of constantly staying up past midnight and feeling tired the next morning, I now start preparing for bed around 11pm. I’ve found, around this time of night, I’m generally winding down anyway and not engaged in productive work. So shifting the hours around slightly has meant that overall my free time gets used more effectively – which is the primary reason for being an early riser! The amount of sleep needed is different from person to person and day to day. So, I listen to my body when it tells me that it is tired and it is time for bed.
5. Sleep more effectively.
The other thing I noticed about sleep is sleeping longer doesn’t necessarily translate to sleeping better. Somedays I can have 8 hours of sleep, yet feel like I haven’t slept at all. Other days I can be fully alert, productive and cheerful after only a few short hours.
If you find that you are still tired after a good stretch of 6-8 hours, chances are you’re not sleeping well. Most people just don’t need much more sleep than that. Sleeping well can be attained in various ways. I find having a good mattress and pillow with some quiet reading time before bed to be helpful.
6. No more another 10 mins.
I think everyone including me has two conflicting aspects to their personality. There’s the one which is good and generally seeks to self improve and be productive. Then there’s the other one – the little voice in the head urging us to sleep in for another 10 mins. I’ve learned the hard way that this little voice rarely has anything good to say. My advice is don’t ever have a discussion with him or indulge in anything he says! Sleeping in for another 10 mins is guaranteed to lead to another 10 mins and then another. The next time you hear that little voice, just say “No” out loud and …
7. Jump out of bed.
One trick I’ve found to be very effective in being an early riser and to stop myself from rationalising is to simply jump out of bed instantly. Once I am outside the comforts of the warm and cozy bed, I’m more likely to actually wake up and stay up. Someone once suggested to me by leaving the bedroom immediately, you also leave no doubt about your intentions to actually wake up and start doing things. Jumping out of bed and leaving the room actually works. They have prevented me from sleeping in on many a cold winter morning.
8. Use an alarm clock, just not the snooze.
Every day without fail, I wake up before the alarm goes off. I’m tempted to say setting it might not even be necessary! However, I take comfort in the knowledge that it’s there and waiting to go off, so I don’t have to worry about sleeping in. The trick with the alarm clock is to make it loud, annoying and not easily accessible. Try placing it away from arms reach, so that you can’t turn it off or get to the snooze button unless you get up out of bed. For me, this works wonders, because when it goes off, my wife and daughter are both still asleep and I instinctively try to get to it as quickly as possible.
9. Establish a stable routine.
What I recently learned from being a new dad is babies thrive on routine. My daughter now knows that bath time is followed by reading time and then bed time. Initially, she put up a fight resisting the bed. Now, she expects it!
In many ways, things are no different for us adults. I view the body as an instrument which can be trained. I’ve found establishing a consistent routine to be a key factor in becoming an early riser. This means waking up at same time everyday, not just the days I have to. This includes weekends, which typically aren’t as busy as the weekdays. Now, my body doesn’t even remember what it was like to sleep in and being a late riser.
10. Have something to look forward to.
Waking up early can be hard work, especially when you are used to sleeping in. Having a purpose is a good start, but this isn’t always enough. I mean, come one, are you really going to get up early to work on some TPS report for work? What I do in addition to having a purpose is to have a reward or other attractive incentive to get up for. It can be anything. I personally look forward to having time to check my emails in the morning, eat breakfast and drink a cup of tea.
11. Be aware of the consequences.
As I’ve written about previously, when faced with doing something we don’t want to do, we’re generally motivated not just by Pleasure, but also Pain. I’ve found that it was very effective to be aware of the consequences of sleeping in. For me, losing that extra 2 hours in the morning can have a significant flow on effect to my day and the rest of the week. Everytime I sleep in, I have to stay at work later and sacrifice quality time with my daughter in the evenings. This is something I clearly want to avoid, so being aware of this has been really effective in keeping me motivated when the alarm goes off.
12. Remove the option completely.
One trick I’ve found to work well also is removing the option of sleeping in completely. If we don’t have the option to sleep in, we won’t. The best way of doing this is schedule meetings and deadlines early in the mornings. This leaves one with no option at all but to get up because by the time the morning comes round, it is too late to cancel or reschedule a commitment. I’ve found this to be very effective because my actions now impact not just me but others as well.
13. Have a similarly motivated buddy.
Over the year, I have mentioned to various friends my desire to be a consistent early riser. Being encouraged by my example and results, they too have adopted the drive to be early risers. Not only is it gratifying to be helping others improve their productivity and quality of life, but having friends similarly committed helps keep me motivated and on track. Whenever we meet up, we always ask each other how we are doing with respect to being early risers. If anyone has fallen off the wagon, as a group we try to get them motivated again. Your spouse may be a good buddy even if only to kick you out of bed.
14. Keep track of your times.
Have you ever told yourself that you can sleep in just this once because you’ve already been good the whole week? I have. Unfortunately, my perception on how good I’ve been is subjective and often inaccurate. Sometimes I consider sleeping in because I feel that I’ve been good when in fact I’ve already slept in twice this week or six times this month. I’ve found keeping track of the days I have been good and not good to be immensely useful. I review this list periodically and whenever I find I’m falling behind, I use this list to renew my motivation and commitment.
15. Review all the things you got done.
I’ve written about the 10 R’s to success before. If you haven’t read that post, take a moment to do so. One of the more important R’s is Review which describes the importance of looking back on how successful you have been with your goals and what you’ve managed to accomplish. If things aren’t working out or the results weren’t as expected, then adjust your approach. Looking back at all the things you’ve managed to get done in the early mornings is a great motivator to keep you going.
Conclusions
Being an early riser is tough work, but I’ve managed to do it consistently. To be honest, I didn’t realise how hard it would be when I first started. I might not even have tried if I knew better in the beginning. However, I’m glad I did because the rewards are amazing. I get much more done now and my quality of life has improved.
If you want to be early risers yourselves, try out the tips I’ve highlighted. Some of them may not work for you, but I can bet that if you applied at least a few of these, you will see immediate results. Feel free to experiment and refine the process until you find a healthy balance you can sustain.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Party at Style:MEN 2nd Anniversary Party
Jon, YJ and Myself :)
another nicely taken picture by Erwin :) Thanks
Friday, July 22, 2011
MISSING YOU, MISSING IN ACTION
WOOT!... TADA! LALALA!
hey i am back!.. back to this boring blog... haha
well many things have happened during my hiatus.. so tough to write everything down at one go...
maybe i can write a book already! but well maybe it will be all too boring to glue my readers to their seats.. well then again... i cant blame them cos my blog is really dead... dead everysince i got my account back from the stupid hacker...
anyway i think i will place it down in point form so that it is easier to read...
heees
XOXO
hey i am back!.. back to this boring blog... haha
well many things have happened during my hiatus.. so tough to write everything down at one go...
maybe i can write a book already! but well maybe it will be all too boring to glue my readers to their seats.. well then again... i cant blame them cos my blog is really dead... dead everysince i got my account back from the stupid hacker...
anyway i think i will place it down in point form so that it is easier to read...
- WORK - i have changed job! yeah... oh wait! i am still with the same company it is just that i have changed jobscope.. and yup by far my 5th jobscope since i join a year ago... ya you din read it wrongly.. which means every 3 mths i will experience a new role.... sigh... not really good.. but what to do i am jus a small fry in the company... if you were to see my facebook info, you can see my scale of job.. Headhunters out there! if you are looking for a very dynamic person, you can come find me... i am pretty well organised haha..
- SPORTS- went to Taipei in June for Dragonboat race and we got 5th place for the men's championship... not bad for a race in an unfamiliar environment.. many new experience.. nice and cool ppl there.. :)
- SCHOOL - have been real busy with juggling school and work at the same time... work is always new and always learning... cos of the change in job scope, school is getting tougher and tougher... this is the toughest Semester i am facing... very very tough... hope i can scrape thru the exams which is coming .. 6Aug..
- TRAVEL - been travelling alot more this year, Hong Kong, Taipei, Kuala Lumpur, Bangkok, Meleka.. planning to go a country a month.. next stop Penang, Pangkor, Cambodia, Vietnam, China.. Australia, New Zealand.
- FRIENDS - hmm been trying to catch up with more friends this time round... met more ppl and lost some ppl.. i think it is how it goes...
- LOVE - well i can safely say that i am contented and happy :)
- BODY - well i am still trying to struggle with the body clock adjustment... then to fall into lightsleep and wake up groggy... worst... late... i am still trying to sleep early and wake up early.. aside i think i need to go into a full body detox program.. get rid of all the toxins... means more water, veggies, fruits, vitamins, and more exercise...
- TIME - more time to spend... what should i do with it
- MONEY - not enough... alot of liabilities ...
- BUSINESS - have alot of business plans but i don think i have the time to run and plan for it
- FAMILY - Bro and Sis are both getting married next year... hmm.. good thing is i will have a room to myself soon... and the current house will be under my name.
heees
XOXO
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
PUMA - Official Sponsor for PLK Paddlers
PUMA, PLK's official sponsor for the Taipei International race is one of the world’s leading Sportlifestyle companies that designs and develops footwear, apparel and accessories. It is committed to working in ways that contribute to the world by supporting Creativity, SAFE Sustainability and Peace, and by staying true to the principles of being Fair, Honest, Positive and Creative in decisions made and actions taken.
PUMA starts in Sport and ends in Fashion. Its Sport Performance and Lifestyle labels include categories such as Football, Running, Motorsports, Golf and Sailing. Sport Fashion features collaborations with renowned designer labels such as Alexander McQueen, Mihara Yasuhiro and Sergio Rossi.
The PUMA Group owns the brands PUMA, Cobra Golf and Tretorn.
The company, which was founded in 1948, distributes its products in more than 120 countries, employs more than 9,000 people worldwide and has headquarters in Herzogenaurach/Germany, Boston, London and Hong Kong.
For more information, please visit http://www.puma.com
For more information on the race, please visit http://2011dragonboat.tpec
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
A letter from Mom and Dad
My Child,
When I get
old, I hope you understand and have patience with me.
old, I hope you understand and have patience with me.
In case I break a plate, or spill soup on the table because I’m losing my eyesight.
I hope you don’t yell at me. Old people are
sensitive. Always have self pity when you yell.
sensitive. Always have self pity when you yell.
When my hearing gets worse and I can’t hear what you’re saying,
I hope you don’t call me “deaf. Please repeat what you said or write it down
I’m sorry my child. I’m getting older.
When my knees get weaker, I hope you have the patience to help me get up
Like how I used to help you while you were little, learning how to walk
Please bear with me,
When I keep repeating myself like a broken record, I hope you will just keep listening to
me.
me.
Please don’t make fun of me or get sick of listening to me.
Do you remember when you were little and you wanted a balloon?
You repeated over and over again until you get yourself a balloon.
Please also pardon my smell. I smell like an old person
Please don’t force me to shower. My body is weak.
Old people get sick easily when they are cold. I hope I don’t gross you out.
Do you remember when you were little?
I used to chase you around because you didn’t want to shower.
I hope you can be patient with me when I am always cranky.
It is all part of getting old. You will understand when you are older
And if you have time to spare, I hope we can talk. Even for a few minutes.
I am always all by myself all the time and I have no one to talk to.
I know you are busy with work.
Even if you are not interested in my stories, please have time for me.
Do you remember when you were little?
I used to listen to your stories about your teddy bear and your adventures
When the time comes and I get ill and bedridden, I hope you have the patience to take
care of me.
care of me.
I’m sorry if I accidentally wet the bed or make a mess.
I hope you will have the patience to take care of me during the last few moments of my life
I am not going to last much longer anyway.
When the time of my death comes,
I hope you will hold my hand and give me the strength to face death
And don’t worry.
When I finally meet the creator of us, I will whisper in his ear to bless you
Because you loved your mom and dad.
Thank you so much for your care. We love you
Yours,
Mom & Dad
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Ups and Downs
it was a very busy 6mths to such that i do not even have the time to pen down my thoughts in my online diary... well i have changed job, took up studies and also readjust my finance... all these are sort of like draining my energy day by day...
at work.. my stubbornness is getting abit out of hand... it is so hard to readjust my working style to corporate life... any guidance out there?... well i am not complaining .. just need to learn how to grow out of my shell.. and to keep my comment to myself... i think the culture shift and to adjust is tougher than i thought... i need more time i guess... Ben! wake up!
at school.. things are better... well sorta... results are not too bad.. well i think i can fair better... luckily i have a gang of hardworking course mates... each of us has our own strengths to pull each other thru the tide of juggling of work and study... thanks guys...
at home... well as much as i want to play my part financially... i will try to do so... occasional nagging and quarreling is inevitable.. but i try to contribute if i can.. well having to juggle work and studies is tough enough.. and with the added home pressure.. it is hard to swallow... but in any case.. home is the place where no trouble resides... and it is still the best place to soothe the weary body... warm food and surprises in the fridge...
i think a good pat on my shoulder and words of encouragement do help me to keep this spirit going.. Jia YOU!
Analyze your boss: managing upwards - Adrian Furnham
Most managers want to know how to manage certain of those more problematic staff: the chronic dissenter; the demotivated clock-watcher; Job’s comforter; the neurotically fragile. A great deal of time and effort, energy and worry go into trying to understand and motivate direct reports to be productive.
But the really smart manager spends as much time managing upwards. By definition, your boss has greater power and status than you. Bosses may or may not have broader wisdom and more experience but (nearly) always they have more power and influence and certainly more command of resources. They certainly are likely to have a great influence on you promotability, bonus pay and, indeed, quality of life.
Really shrewd managers learn to handle their bosses. The success of this strategy depends entirely on an understanding of the individual concerned. And this is much trickier than understanding reporting staff because managers mostly have much more data on those below them than those above them. Often, managers chose their direct reports; they have access to their files; they may even have valuable psychometric test information on their personality and motives. They certainly have much more daily contact with them. The quality and quantity of data that managers have is often extensive, while a remote (physically or psychologically) boss may be very difficult to know. Managers probably have up to 50 times more contact with their staff than with the bosses who maybe in a different building, city, even country.
But what are individual bosses really like? What are their ambitions and values? Who do they most admire or loathe in the organization? How do they manage upwards? And what pressures are they under? What rewards do they most value – promotion, bonuses, education, time off? What gives them most stress? Are they themselves high flyers or ceiling reachers? Are they totally trustworthy? And, even, are they sane?
A simple but effective way to begin managing upwards is to understand the abilities and personality of one’s manager.
A. Ability
How bright is your boss? Ignore qualification, rank and reputation: in assessing bosses, the question to ask how quick are they on the uptake? How quickly and accurately can they comprehend a report? How good is their vocabulary, written skills and articulateness? Can they “tumble-numbers”, read a balance sheet? The real test is in the unfamiliar, not the familiar. It’s called fluid intelligence. Experience leads to crystallized knowledge, but is only really useful in a stable world.
Those with bright bosses (that’s IQ not EQ) may find them a little intolerant of those less quick and perhaps poor at explanation. Reminding them of this can be done in a flattering way and may help everybody. These bright sparks tend to be more accepting of change, more interested in data and, of course, more adaptable and flexible.
Below-par bosses may take particularly sensitive handling. They resist new ideas and are frightened of bright young things from university. The really dim ones don’t even know that they are dim. They need a lot of help and support. Give them “suggestions” and show them how to do things. But don’t make them too reliant on you… they may hold on to you too hard and prevent your progress if they need you too much.
B. Personality
There are essentially five personality traits that require close attention. The first is perhaps the most tricky and almost a taboo to talk about. It’s neuroticism or, if you prefer, "negative affectivity". The stable boss copes with stress well, but the neurotic boss can be anxious, moody, thin-skinned, touchy and brittle, always pessimistic and worrying. Neurotic bosses are often unpredictable and need constant help, reassurance and calming down. They can have self-defeating characteristics which need looking out for, lest they defeat you as well. Neurotics are supersensitive: to the environment and others’ feelings. In that sense, they can be very compassionate, but their sensitivity makes them prone to low self-esteem, guilt, hypochondriasis, even obsessiveness.
The best way to manage these bosses for you own mental health is frankly to leave them. The cost of being a part-time therapist may be simply too high a price to pay.
The second important characteristic is extraversion. Extraverts are active, expressive, impulsive and sociable. They can also be risk taking, showing a worrying lack of reflection and responsibility. They are prone to make mistakes; to trade off speed for accuracy; to have too many brainstorming groups and parties; and to search for the elusive break through. Extraverts need not have their enthusiasm dimmed, but they need watching. They need to have their impulsivity tempered by more considerate judgment. But they also need lots of stimulation and variety to keep them comfortable.
Introverts are not shy, inadequate: they just don’t have the need for excitement that extraverts show. They tend to be more difficult to read because they prefer not to go to parties or meetings or give talks. They think first, speak later (unlike extraverts, who do it the other way around), and may seem slow and ponderous. They may seem cold, but that is just their discomfort around others.
Introverts trade off speed for accuracy. They may be helped by having an extroverted spokesperson. They prefer listening to talking and have a preference for “cold” over “hot” media: they prefer letters to meetings; emails to brainstorming sessions. Understand their likes and dislikes and you become more trusted and liked yourself.
We all like our managers to be conscientious: to be efficient, organized, reliable, responsible, dependent, thorough and prudent. Often they make the same demands of us, which can be a little exacting. But they get things done. Conscientiousness is a predictor of business success. It comes from upbringing and values. It is related to the work ethic and one’s conscience.
Conscientious managers can be rather tight-fisted and intolerant and they can be risk-adverse. But beware imprudent managers. They are lax with time, money and their personal responsibilities to others. They don’t follow through. They don’t pay their bills and they can be wildly incautious about all monetary and security issues. They may take time off when it suits them and be both indulgent and impulsive. They may appear as if they feel that 'The problem with instant gratification is that it takes too long.'
An imprudent, unreliable manager needs watching. They need lots of backup… but ultimately they probably need managing out of the organization… for everyone’s benefit.
The fourth personality dimension of salience is agreeableness. Highly agreeable managers are lovely: they are appreciative, forgiving, generous, kind, trusting and sympathetic. Their staff experience them as altruistic, modest and straightforward. Needless to say, they are well liked and have a reputation for being a good manager.
Those low on agreeableness are much less likeable. They may be cynical and sarcastic, argumentative and challenging, inconsiderate, suspicious and unhelpful. They tend to want to be admired and to be “somebody”. Their vanity and habit of putting people down make them unloved, unrespected and quite simply disagreeable. If their disagreeability is matched by great abilities, they may be forgiven their unkindnesses. But it is more likely that disagreeable managers get where they are through lies, nepotism or exploitation. If any of the latter, the best strategy is to leave or get them out of the way.
The fifth personality dimension of importance is one clearly related to creativity and intellect. It’s called openness to experience. Managers who score high on this dimension tend to be artistic and curious, imaginative and insightful, original and creative. Typically, they have a wide range of interests and are quite “intellectual”. Often, they are thought of as unconventional and a bit “arty-farty”. They like variety and novelty, but can scatter resources. For some, they are impractical dreamers: optimistic, energetic but unfocused.
Open managers are not fuddy-duddy. They embrace changes and are sensitive to the teachings and ideas of others. They are also aesthetically sophisticated. Some jobs call for little imagination and in those they are a handicap. But the real pains are managers who score low on this dimension. They tend to express both discomfort and perplexity in reaction to novel experiences. Their rigidity and lack of curiosity can be misunderstood as resistance. To help the less open manager, one needs to provide practical suggestions and new ideas. He or she needs to be helped to be more attentive to what is going on around them. They have an impoverished fantasy life and very conventional ways of thinking and behaving. Those scoring very low on this dimension are very hostile to new ideas, but those mid-way may come really to appreciate the new ways of thinking that you feed them.
If you have a bright, stable, agreeable, conscientious and open boss, celebrate your good fortune. If not, start practising you upward management skills!
Monday, October 25, 2010
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